Sinnful Thoughts

This past month has been emotional turmoil. After a lot of prayer and build up, I was not hired at the police department. Coming out of the interview, I felt as if it did not go well. Obviously, I was right. I don't think it was necessarily me; however, I think it was based completely on the interview.

I broke down on Monday night. I just sat on the couch weeping about looking for work for 6 mo, only 2 interviews, seemingly unanswered prayers, and so on. Juneau tried to curl up into my lap, so she was really helpful. Hubby reminded me of our amazing brush with death and reminded me that God does have a plan. But with a fast approaching deadline for my loan repayment (of close to $600/mo), it is hard to see a silver lining.

After applying for a handful of jobs this morning, I got a call from dispatch. They scheduled an interview for the 27th at 3pm. I've spend the last few hours researching proper interview answers, common dispatcher questions, the map and reading comprehension test, etc. My brain is full. But, you know what, I am feeling empowered! They want me, they just haven't figured it out yet ^_~

In other news, I was approached by an author to read an review her book for a book blog tour in February and March. It is an awesome opportunity!

Maybe things are picking up!

My dress clothes are cleaned, my legs are shaved, and my skin is a lot better than it has been. I have my interview this afternoon with the police department. I'm really, really nervous! Everyone is convinced that it is a good sign getting the interview, but . . . Dammit, I just need a job! *sigh* I need to just trust God.

Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers. I'll let you all know how it goes.

Sadly, my Batman Arkham Asylum figures have now been backordered until March. When pre-ordered them in August, they were scheduled for release for this month. Hubby moved my saved up allowance money into the account to cover the coast at the beginning of the month. When I hadn't heard anything from them, I got online to look at my order. I read it online, but I had to call them. Yes, sadly, they have been delayed until March. *sigh* I was really looking forward to putting them on my figure shelves. Another couple of months dreaming about it, I suppose.

Even though that was a disappointment, I used some of my saved up allowance and bought these shoes!! They ROCK!!! I've been eyeballing a pair of similar shoes @ Tuk Shoes w/ kitties on the toe instead, but I never got around to buying them. But these little beauties kept calling to me! So . . . yeah

Doc Marten's make heels! I need a job!!

My husband received an interesting e-mail from one of the many communities he follows. I thought I would share. Anyone with a huge guilt complex -- like me -- will find this humorous.

"Word on the "street" is that the "load" on guilt genes is much heavier than on other genetic structures. When guilt genes come into play, the messages between RNA & DNA are things that can really bog a person down, agitate us, make us sluggish & pissy & feeling lousy. It's like a genetic McDonald's "Supersize Me" too many times, leaving one feeling simply terrible. Research also indicates that the Irish, Jewish & Italian guilt loads are much, much heavier, and the 2nd tier heaviest are Scandinavian Protestant. Of course, the mRNA research is still new, so more discoveries are to come & I am sure the guilt . Of course, one of the main researchers in the messenger RNA (mRNA) & DNA field is Jewish & has a high number of Jewish, Scandinavian & Irish-American researchers in his lab. One of their partnering labs doing RNA research is manned by an Italian-American. I am sure that future research may elicit good clues as to how to cope w/the guilt, such as drinking *before* someone cries, so that you're well-prepared & your RNA & DNA can just relax"

Well, 2010 is over. For the first time in a long line of bad years, I am not heading into 2011 in a tailspin. For reflection purposes, I decided to fill out a meme for 2010.

1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before?

• I received my degree in English. After a long 10 year haul, it is good to finally have something to show for all the hard work, sweat, stress, sleepless nights, and tears.
  

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

• I have boycotted resolutions for many years. Getting caught up in changing things for the new year and chastising yourself for failure to complete them always seemed like a lose/lose situation. However, this year, I have given myself some goals. They are over here if you want to see.
  

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

• My sister-in-law had her first child, a little girl named Olive. For my graduation party this summer, she flew down from Alaska. It was amazing to meet my new niece! She is beautiful :)
  

4. Did anyone close to you die?

• No. However, my best friend started out the summer with her mother's death. It was followed by close to 5 deaths in a matter of months. It was a hard year for Angel.
  

5. What countries did you visit?

• We stayed home.
  

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?

• A job!
  

7. What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

• June 2. I woke up that morning to a text and a frantic message from Angel about her mother's death.
  

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

• Finishing my degree!
  

9. What was your biggest failure?

• Finding a job :(
  

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

• I got bronchitis during the last part of Spring semester.
  

11. What was the best thing you bought?

• Juneau!
  

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

• I would have to say it was Angel. It all goes back to how she handled all the death in her family. She has been brave and shown great courage and strength of character.
  

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

• No one.
  

14. Where did most of your money go?

• House payment and bills!
  

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

• Seeing long-distant friends and meeting Olive for my graduation. Also, welcoming Juneau into the family was a big one.
  

16. What song will always remind you of 2010?

• I'm not sure. I think metal in general will remind me of 2010. It was the music I played on the student radio station. Through that, I became closer to the genre and opened a lot of doors to new and awesome artists.
  

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? In some ways, I am both.
b) thinner or fatter? Sadly, fatter :(
c) richer or poorer? A lot poorer with the looming student loan debt.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

• Gotten more exercise
  

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

• What I feel I should says is, "Being lazy on the couch." But spending the time reading was nice 8-)
  

20. How did you spend Christmas?

• My brother came up to visit. We munched on food on and off all weekend, we watched movies, played video games, and just relaxed.
  

21. Did you fall in love in 2010?

• I fall in love more and more every year with my hubby ^_^
  

22. What was your favorite TV program?

• Dexter
  

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

• I don't hate anyone.
  

24. What was the best book you read?

• The Time Traveler's Wife
  

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

• 2010 was full of great music discovery! Bullet for My Valentine, Otep, The Donnas, Dollyrots, Drowning Pool, Static Lullaby, Lullacry, Within Temptation, Lacuna Coil, Ke$ha, Lady Gaga, and the list goes on!
  

26. What did you want and get?

• My degree and my puppy!
  

27. What did you want and not get?

• A job :(
  

28. What was your favorite film of this year?

• Tangled is pretty far up there.
  

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

• We celebrated by playing video games with friends. I turned 28.
  

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

• A job.
  

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?

• A little more put-together than usual.
  

32. What kept you sane?

• Going to the gym every week.
  

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

• *shrug* Gerard Butler always has my fancy ^_~
  

34. What political issue stirred you the most?

• I'm not sure about political issue. The whole global warming issue pisses me off. Everyone is content to listen to the spin doctors and refuse to do some research about the problem. Well, that's true on most everything! Also, the bullying stuff has really gotten me stirred up.
  

35. Who did you miss?

• I think I missed Gargoyle the most.
  

36. Who was the best new person you met?

• Jennifer.
  

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.

• I need to trust God.
  

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

• Oh, oh, oh dancing with myself
  Oh, oh, oh dancing with myself
  Well there's nothing to lose
  And there's nothing to prove
  And I'm dancing with myself
  Oh, oh, oh, oh

I hope you guys have a wonderful new year :)

As a side note, I started up a book reviewing blog. Since I spend a lot of time reading, I thought it would be cool to keep track of that. I would on this blog, but I don't want to limit myself. Anyways, it is Sinnful Books of you're interested.